Circle of Three

We stood in a circle of three one more time. My love and I, we couldn't keep the tears from streaming down our faces.  We held his hands in ours before he slipped away. A fine young man now, the one we brought home in a bundle seemingly a few days ago, he will be going the way of his calling. So we pray. My love tries to voice his petitions with voice that trembles. We speak to the One who always listens, our tight little circle of three.

We say our goodbyes ... It will be different now. We have loved all of our children  away into their callings ... into the life beyond the farm ... into a cold, hard, unfriendly world hoping that they would cling to Jesus and He would cling to them.

I used to think that all life stories had good and happy endings. I know now that isn't always true. Knowing this, it is hard to let go of this precious hand ... . We have tried to hold back our clingyness for days. We didn't want to smother him, but in this final moment we hug him like there is no tomorrow. We don't want to let him go. Prayers and tears all run together and we trust that the Lord hears us.

I drive him to the bus stop.

He and I enjoy the morning as we ride. Silver lined clouds stream rays of glorious light to kiss the dew of morning grasses.He and I have shared the awe of these beauties many times.

We arrive. I hold my breath and command myself to be strong.  He will be a navy man now. And I can't help but miss him.

He takes his seat on the bus, this young man that I have called my own. He lifts his hand as if practicing a salute and he is off ... on his own ... without us ... but ... the unseen presence that joined us in our circle of prayer is with him. He will always be with him.

We will be looking in the mailbox everyday hoping for a word from our son. They told me that it would be awhile. I will look anyway. When his letter comes, I will read his words out loud to the one that I love and we will hear his voice as we read. Then we will join hands, my love and I, in our small circle of two. Prayers and tears will all run together and we, once again, we will trust that the Lord hears us.